touch me in the mooorrning...

Well, it was quite a hectic day in the office. You can feel the heat of 2nd quarter month end closing is approaching, when days would be ruled by a host and web system. Racing against system downtime and minimizing idle time not to be kicked out of the system, response to emails asap and high important emails super duper asap, response to the intranet messaging impromptu.. plus answering stupid questions in your most polite manner can sometimes be such a pain in the ass. Reached home at almost 7 pm though they said 5 pm is only a half day here.. arrghh what the heck.. I need to have my bath.

So while showering and humming to the only French song I know, enjoying the luxurious smell of Palmolive Orange, I heard my Bibik called.

Switched off the shower and grabbed my towel, I peaked out from bathroom.

Ya bik, ada apa?

Ada orang perempuan cari cik maya.

Huh, siapa bik?

Enggak tahu, tapi katanya mahu bicara sama cik..

Puzzled. I hurriedly walked downstairs to meet that women before my Bibik stopped me.

Err..cik .. enggak mahu tukar bajunya dulu.. nanti anduknya jatuh..

Eh, eh..lupa saya bik.. sebab nak cepat tadi..

Suruh dia tunggu sekejap.. saya pakai baju..

And there was this lady, very fair and pretty, standing infront of my gate with a smile.

Hi Maya.. i'm Saleha.. ur neighbour yang duduk rumah kat situ” pointing to one of the renovated house.

Oh hi..ada apa ye Saleha..?

Tak ada apa, cuma tangan I terseliuh, rasa kebas dan menggigil. I tak buleh nak angkat barang langsung. Kak Mona (my other neighbor) kata Bibik you pandai urut ye? I dah call tukang urut lain tapi kena buat appointment. I dah tak tahan sakit ni… Boleh ker? Malam nanti pun tak apa.. she babbled in a breath.

Errr… saya kena tanya Bibik dulu..sbb dia yang nak urut. You leave ur phone number, nanti I call ok?

I don’t have the heart to say no to her though I value my privacy at night but I know she’s in pain or else who would have come and barge somebody’s house like that. And I pity Bibik too, afraid if she's tired but she said she didn’t mind.

Then I continued my half done shower and hurriedly cooked my dinner. Simple dish masak lemak putih sayur + sambal tumis ikan bilis with sliced potatos + ayang goring.. ehhmm daappp..
Put it on table upstairs in front of the tv.

Immediately after that, I called Saleha. She came and great her and Bibik started doing her massage in room downstairs.

And I rushed upstairs to have my dinner and watched my favorite-tapi-sakit-jiwa-sbb-byk-commercial break tv series Prison Break. Oh I so fell in love with Micheal Scoffield you… terkesima sungguh daku dengan renunganmu itu..

Just another 15 mins before the series end, Bibik called and said that she's done and Saleha wanted to go home. Arrggh..shheesshh…(my micheal scoffield) went downstairs, put a smile and have a little chat with her before she finally made her way home.

The moment Bibik closed the door, I quickly ran upstairs again to catch up the ending part..but it was too late..Uiishh geram sungguh..x sempat nak kiss goodbye.. till we meet agin next week.. Micheal dear..muuahhss

Went downstairs again..and ask Bibik how was the urut? She looked tired of course and got RM20 for it. Not that she asked for it, but I stressfully asked her to take if anybody gave her money for her urut coz she deserve it after draining out her strength for it.

So far, she has urut 2 of my neighbors and Norin’s maid too and of course my mom. All emergency cases except for my mom la. As for me, I hardly asked her to urut me though my back and neck are screaming for tender rub and massage coz I know she’s tired too, just like me. And these neighbors have been giving her their old shirts and pants as they are in the same size. And sometimes they sent me cookies and food too. Ah!! What a bless.

And I would smile and jokingly told Bibik that “kalau ada orang mau urut lagi.. saya kena charge bibik sewa tapak ok..heheh!!”

Oh Bibik.. how can my life be complete without you.. (I’m hopeless without helper ok..)

breakfast at tiffany's

Miss Wan already swore not to ever taste Makcik Kayo’s nasik lemak again. Her heart crushed the day she was charged RM 4.80 for a plate of nasik lemak. She’s been tolerating with her stinginess for quite sometime. Not that she’d never try to divert her attention from makcik Kayo’s nasik lemak before, but she would still succumb to her rendang daging and sambal sotong.

RM 4.80 for a breakfast is not that expensive if its in KLIA or Starbucks or any kopitiam. But to have it in café where you have to bribe stray cats with foods so that they would go away or have your perfume smeared by smell of smoke or smell of makcik goring ikan masin is soooo not 4.80 ok..!! And what more, when you know the rent for that lot per month is less than RM100. Hannginnn jer..

The way she scooped the rice can be quite annoying sometimes. She would scoop and squeezed as if she’s counting the rice that should be on the plate. If you ask for extra toppings of egg or cucumber, she would say she didn’t sell them unless you say that she can charge you extra. And if you ask for a little bit of extra sauce, she would say "mana ada sikit-sikit dik" and scoop the gravy and charge you additional servings. And you should see her face when she scooped those gravy and rice.. aduii PMS betul la makcik nii…

And her nasik lemak biasa would only be rice, 2 slices of cucumber, half boiled egg and a bit of sambal. If you are lucky, then you may get few slices of onion or anchovies in the sambal

I guess Makcik Kayo’s just taking advantage on everybody who’s working here. She must be thinking “orang kerja computer ni banyak duit..” and know that's she is in demand. Oh makcik kayo.. if only that is true.. Instead you are the one that is getting rich .. Thanks to that nick I gave her 2 years ago due to her incredible cost management and her psycho pricing.. Makcik Kayo’s name 'sentiasa segar di hati dan menjadi buah mulut setiap pagi' and she's alive and kicking kayo now. You should see her jewelries. Her bracelet must weigh tones and her necklaces nearly dip into those sambals.

Having said all that, she has quite variety of gravies like sambal sotong, rendang daging, ikan bilis and kentang sambal telur puyuh sambal, apa lagi… telur goring, and sometimes ayam sambal.

She’s quite hygienic in her serving too – wears apron and disposable gloves (after how many times of usage.. tatau la..)

Maybe that’s why people keep on buying breakfast from her, besides the café is within our vicinity and not much of other choices of café nearby.

And everytime, they came and report to me (I don’t know why.. not that I’m a Nasik Lemak Nazir) of how much they were charged, I could only sigh… "Hai Makcik Kayo.. bila lah nak insaf.. dan bermurah hati…"

But I guess she will remain to be kayo coz she’s the only Makcik Kayo that we all ever known…

But you know what Makcik Kayo, next month we all be moving to our new building beside OU and TV3. Our café would be very much much classy and comfortable for breakfast. ( i ass u me ..)

We even have annexes to hotel next door and to OU if we feel of having breakfast at Klang Station or Coffee Been or Starbucks or even Dome. (Not everyday la… kopak nanti )

Thanks for your delicious @ okla sambal sotong and rendang daging we had all these days. We’ll be missing them for sure but not for long though.

New tenant would give u new nick.. but im sure it will not be Makcik Kayo anymore.. maybe Makcik kedekut / kupik / rock or even worst. I don’t know.. hopefully good ones. You cant survive long if being cursed with bad name everyday.. (theory tak leh pakai.. coz yg hari2 kena sumpah tu liat semacam jek…)

So I wish u luck and all the best Makcik Kayo.

D.A.D

During my under aged snorting years, I was quite attached to my dad. One of his favorite family outing was to take us out of town or outskirt of KL for a picnic. Usually would be near pond or lake or river area and we would have our motorboat towed along. I can’t quite recall of that mine pool we used to go but I think it's somewhere behind Taman Koperasi Polis Gombak. Its quite clean and calm with white sand and green water. I think it used to be a quary. But I guess by now, that place would have been flooded with houses and factories.

After we had settled with good spot, my dad and my brother would have the boat into the mine pool and geared up and mom would sank in chair, eating her Ngan Yin Peanuts with her big groovy YSL sunnies. As for me, I would just squat and throw pebbles into the pool with my sister while waiting my dad to finish his ‘tahan pukat’. So boring..He didn’t use fishing rod but a big fishing net with small buoy to mark the area where the net was lowered into the pool. He would use oars to paddle instead of motor not to scare fishes away.

And it was damn long of a wait. But this is what I call originality and pure satisfaction. To him la i guess.. me still throwing those pebbles..waiting for my chance to speed that boat full throttle..yeeaahhaa..!! Nowdays, we have to pay to enter a fishing pond. So lame.. Come to think of it, maybe we may have trespassed some private property. Heheh..

Swimming in mine pool is a big no no coz its dangerous as the pulling wave were different than those in river or sea. Later we would have our lunch under the tress and dad would continue reading his newspaper sipping his Hang Tuah coffee. Sometimes he would do some shootings on the crows or whatever. I hate to look at those pity dead animals and labeled my brother as a poacher as I am a pencinta keamanankan… (I make love not war…ahakss..).

Anyway.. I do like to help my dad to clean his riffle. He has quite a number of collections. The mechanics of guns and bullet is quite an amusement to me..heheh... Well, we did a lot of other things as well but most of the time were fishing and shooting and boating. He thought me a lot of things as if I’m a boy. I can drive a car and a speedboat and do water skiing when I was less than 12 years old. Not to brag, but that’s the only vivid and proud young memories that I kept with me. Nothing much.. but priceless.

Then he walked out of my life 14 years later. No quarrels no hatred no nothing.. he just left us. My mom thought that her life with him was vouchsafed, but which wife doesn’t. I guess their marriage was not meant be long after all.

I turned out to be quite rebellious and rude to my dad but on the same time missing him so much. I guess I was just being protactive to my mom’s fragile state of mind at that moment and exhausted of being Sakura Cardcaptur. And to make things worst, I was send to a boarding school a year later in Malacca. It was quite sad as my registration day was only accompanied by my mom and my uncle.

Missing my mom and my dad badly, I would sang silently a song my dad first taught me which I still didn’t know who the singer was or what the tittle is… poyo tak..? Cait..but it goes like this..

You are the angel to my lonely place

You are the angel from above

I was so lonely till you came to me

With the wonder of you love

I don’t know how I’d ever leave before

You are my life

My destiny

Oh my darling I love you so..

You mean everything to me..

(I pressummed that song was meant to me and not that bitch he ran to with.. sorry ende...!!)

I know I've never hated him for what he did, but just angry. Its quite confusing to be caught in the middle of adults affair.

But time heals all wound, he has twice remarried and so does my mom. And both are happily married to their love ones and healthy and I could never be thankful enough for that grace.

My stepfather (..err..what kind of terminology is this, that we have to step a father ..?) is another great man. I ‘ve known him since I was little kid.

I guess my dad was true in saying that I am a lucky girl. Still can’t figure the truth of it though.

Maybe I need to start believing it now, that I have 2 great daddies standing behind and supporting me all the time. But I guess my mom would be the luckiest women to have shared her life with this 2 great man.

She's at his heels

begging to go along.

Washing the car together

and singing a silly song.

Riding on his shoulders,

laughing on his knees.

A pair where love is mutual

and very plain to see.

So like him in a thousand ways,

from her toes up to her curls,

Cry your eyes out Momma,

she's Daddy's Little Girl!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO MY 2 GREAT DADDIES.

I love u sooooo much… Muaaahhsss!!

p.s Dad - if u read this blog...just ignore those entries that i sounded sluttish, bitchy, menghada-ngada tak hingat dunia, tergediks-gediks… I’m just testing another side of me dad… we all do.. (defensive statement..).. no matter what I’m still your little girl that bow you with respect, treasure your love wholeheartedly and love you each day.. kiss kiss..

qUeEn oF tHe DaMned

I don’t know if this is the beginning or it’s the end. She told me that I should seek for help. Not that I’d never thought about it before, but the thing just fade through time. My mind and worst my soul began to believe and accept it as part of myself.

A new part of me that I’ve never discovered before. Sometimes I felt like I was opening the most rhapsodic thing in myself and I cant deny of loving it but sometimes I just vomit myself out thinking of this little dark hospice I’m in. Not that I haven’t tried to run away but I would keep receding to a place inside that was new to me. Every time I try to let go, I would get deflated by my own shrunken world. I guess I am tired now. Tired and hopeless.

I’ve lost myself to this battle for the sake of love in which love itself has lost its definition and integrity in me. I gave myself in the name of love when love itself has cursed me for being the Aphrodite. I have never felt so lost and unworthy in my entire life just because of this sacrifices that I have chosen. And since that, I’ve been living with this fact every single day.

If only they knew of the damage that they have caused. But, it wouldn’t be called sacrifices then. Sometimes I wonder if they ever knew that I too have a dream to be given the privilege to choose any one of those 7 doors of heaven.

But can it be? My sacrifices would disqualified me to even mention its name.

My fear is that, would they ever forgive me should I die tomorrow, not knowing that the actual fact were merely my sacrifices. Would I be a legend that shed white blood or would I be cursed and become the bubbling foam of the sea.?

If only they knew… my heart pray for you the Almighty God that you listen and show me the way…

Twisted eh..?

Dah.. dah… makan cokelat nie…

and this starwberry cake too...


and go to sleep now... burrpp!!